Supportive Community

The boards on this forum will only become visible once you are registered.

Please feel free to use our 'open boards' to post something as a guest or register to visit the other boards. Registration is free and easy.

Also, the forum will become advertisement free as soon as you are a member.

Today i feel so alone

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Today i feel so alone

Post  Rugrat on Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:27 pm

I have lost about 3 hours of my afternoon, was just spacing out all the time.

I have someone inside who wants to s/h and i am trying so hard to not allow her
to hurt the bodie anymore, but she is not listening and I know that once my children
are in bed in a few hours that i will give in and she will get her way.

I am new to this place and i do not want to talk out of line. I hope it is ok for
me to say this stuff, but if not then please feel free to take this away.


I am alone in this world and no one can see in.

My past haunts me.

avatar
Rugrat

Join date : 2009-04-17
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  sky on Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:51 pm

I have lost about 3 hours of my afternoon, was just spacing out all the time.

I have someone inside who wants to s/h and i am trying so hard to not allow her
to hurt the bodie anymore, but she is not listening and I know that once my children
are in bed in a few hours that i will give in and she will get her way.

I am new to this place and i do not want to talk out of line. I hope it is ok for
me to say this stuff, but if not then please feel free to take this away.


I am alone in this world and no one can see in.

My past haunts me.


Hello Rugrat

I am so sorry that you have part of you that wants to self harm. I also understand it is a way you have learned to survive and it's hard to stop hurting yourself. It is difficult when part of you wants to stop and the other wants to hurt - you have an internal battle going on perhaps?

It is ok to come here and tell us and to gain some support and i hear how alone you feel with your internal world.

I wonder what support you have in your 3D world to work through the hurt of the past that is haunting you? Do you have a therapist, doctors or a support group perhaps?

I am glad you have been able to talk here and that you can continue to do so if it helps. You don't deserve to be hurt any more but i understand how difficult it is to stop.

With support

Sky


Our lives are like the course of the sun. At the darkest moment there is the promise of daylight.
avatar
sky
 Administrator

Join date : 2009-04-11

http://mutualsupport.englishboards.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Rugrat on Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:01 pm

Hi Sky,

Yes i have been seeing a therapist for about 6 months now.

I have just, over the last few weeks started to trust her.

All my little ones like her alot, which is good.

Thank You so much for your support.


Rugrat
avatar
Rugrat

Join date : 2009-04-17
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Guest on Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:05 pm

I am alone in this world and no one can see in

What an awful awful way to have to live. So alone with something so frightening. The inside world and outside world can seem miles apart.
SH is not always a bad thing if it helps the body to stay alive but I do hear you not wanting to let Sh happen.
Are there any ways you could get a communication going between the two of you?
avatar
Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Stellata on Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:23 pm

Like animus, I'm wondering about internal dialogue. I have an Other who has hurt me in the past. I find that talking with her can help, as can letting her express herself through drawing or painting.

Do you know why she wants to self harm?
avatar
Stellata

Join date : 2009-04-14
Age : 47

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Rugrat on Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:16 am

Thank you so much for your support.

She did s/h but at least now we have
some peace.

Stellata, She wouldnt talk to me when i was trying to talk to her, but from what i have known in the past, it happens when
the mental pain and memories are to much.

I hope people have a good day today

Rugrat

avatar
Rugrat

Join date : 2009-04-17
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  ebe on Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:45 am

I am sorry to hear about the SH, Rugrat, but I am glad you are feeling a little better. It must be very scary to have this part of you that can be so controlling that rather than allow you to work through your pain, she chooses to harm. I so hope you are able to talk to your T about it. I know it is hard, but you say your "little ones" like her, so maybe they will let her help. Perhaps they can even write her a letter or draw a picture if they do not wish to speak? I know that may sound a little silly, but sometimes, silly is necessary with dealing with youngsters.

I am glad you have been able to talk some here, and I hope you can continue to do so.

Listening to your struggle . . . .


ebe

Join date : 2009-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  infinity on Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:22 pm

Here and listening.

Emma

infinity

Join date : 2009-04-11
Age : 48
Location : US

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  sky on Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:29 pm

xx


Our lives are like the course of the sun. At the darkest moment there is the promise of daylight.
avatar
sky
 Administrator

Join date : 2009-04-11

http://mutualsupport.englishboards.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Stellata on Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:44 pm

Maybe at times like those you can sit with her and let her know that you understand how overwhelmed she feels?

I understand - I have one who's always running away from me in a rage and slamming her door against me. Understanding, letting her know that she is genuinely understood, does go a long way though...
avatar
Stellata

Join date : 2009-04-14
Age : 47

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Misty on Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:47 pm

Rugrat

Misty

Join date : 2009-04-11

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Rugrat on Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:19 pm

Thank you so much for all this lovely care you have shown me. Rugrat
avatar
Rugrat

Join date : 2009-04-17
Location : uk

Back to top Go down

Re: Today i feel so alone

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum