Pming staff and members for emotional support

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Pming staff and members for emotional support

Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:42 am by sky

Hello everyone

The staff here at Supportive Community care greatly about you all and have your welfare at heart. We feel very strongly that the safest place for us to talk is on our boards. I know it can be tempting when others are kind and helpful to want to Pm for support. We do not believe that this is helpful as it can isolate us with the problem and also leave you waiting for a reply when we may not be around which is painful for you. If it is kept on the boards we can all share it together ok. If we receive personal messages asking us for emotional support we will encourage you to post on our boards instead and respond to you there.

We have added a sentence in our forum guidelines which says:

We do not offer one to one support by personal message (pm) or by e mail. If members do this they will be advised to post on the boards where we can all share the support.

We are all individuals with our own problems and it can be overwhelming if we find ourselves having to answer many individual messages. Sometimes it might be that we are unable to answer due to our own pain and if that is the case others are able to answer in our place if it is kept on the forum - and we can all support each other in this way.

We would also strongly advise that you do not encourage others into taking their problems into private with you. In our experience, when this happens, members often get themselves into situations that they cannot handle - this is why it is best to keep it on the boards where we can moderate and we can all be safe.

If you have any administrative problems you are welcome to ask by pm or e mail or they can be posted on our technical support board.

We hope you can all understand and appreciate what we are asking and want you to know how humbled we are by your courage and honesty and your support of one and other here. That is what it is all about - mutual support.

With love and support

The Supportive Community Staff xx

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The Daffodil Principle

The story of "The Daffodil Principle" originally appeared nearly ten years ago in Jaroldeen Edwards' book Celebration! It is now available for the first time as an illustrated gift book, with artwork by Anne Marie Oborn.

Every year, high in the San Bernardino mountain range of Southern California, five acres of beautiful daffodils burst into bloom. Amazingly, this special spot, known as "The Daffodil Garden," was planted by one person, Gene Bauer, one bulb at a time, beginning in 1958.

The Willow Fire of 1999 destroyed the Bauer's A-frame home, its surrounding shady trees and garden. Miraculously, the daffodil bulbs beneath the ground survived.

Several times my daughter, Julie, had telephoned to say, "Mom, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from my place by the beach to her lakeside mountain home.

"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. The next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I got in the car and began the long, tedious drive.

When I finally walked into Julie's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Julie! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mom."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading straight for home!" I said, rather emphatically.

"Gee, Mom, I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car," Julie said with a forlorn look in her eyes.

"How far will we have to drive?"

Smiling she answered, "Just a few blocks, I'll drive ... I'm used to this."

After several minutes on the cold, foggy road, I had to ask "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to the garage the long way," Julie smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Julie," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mom, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign ...

Daffodil Garden

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Julie down the path. As we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

Five acres of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen!

"Who planted all these?" I asked Julie.

"It's just one woman," Julie answered, "She lives on the property. That's her home," and she pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house and on the little patio we saw a poster ...

There it was ... "The Daffodil Principle"

For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top.

Still, This unknown, old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration:

* learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time,
(often just one baby-step at a time)
* learning to love the doing,
* learning to use the accumulation of time

When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Julie, "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, "Start tomorrow, Mom," she said, "It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask ... "

"How can I put this to use today?"

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